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Numb to the Numbers

by Synthetic Division

/
1.
you never once cried not on the outside i'm not a soldier I'm sick of fighting myself looking much older not quite the picture of health i never once cried, not on the outside no use for white flags, I've not the strength left to wave don't like the answers, won't ask the questions they bring there's no advantage in fighting to live til Spring you never once cried, not on the outside that is the essence of pain i'm not a soldier looking much older i never once cried not on the outside please don't make me go on this is the essence of pain
2.
you won't find your place searching with a guilty look so misplaced is gathered rage an anger that's misunderstood sadness goes around stays until it's been replaced i hold hope, you've let yours slide it's easy, here is your plan stay awake stay awake stay awake my precious child some may act their age some may turn the other page some may crack another's book some will earn another look i know where you want to hide just reach out help is at hand i hold hope, you let yours slide it's easy here is your plan stay awake stay awake stay awake my precious child
3.
we will get beyond, beyond these trying times together we will live beyond, beyond these lowly lives forever eternity awaits eternity awaits us and if your soul's defined by a heart that's kind you won't have to wait and if your soul's been kind when it comes your time you won't have to wait and if i'm not on time or my soul's declined i might have to wait save me a place we will live beyond, beyond these lowly lives forever and if i'm twice denied and reborn to life i'll limit my mistakes and if my soul's refined with a heart that's kind i will end my wait save me a place i won't be lost i won't be long eternity awaits us
4.
why shouldn't i fear what has been taken from me? why shouldn't i fear the world now? it's plainer to see so that's my heart's that broken that's just the truth i'm choking down shouldn't i fear what has been taken from me? shouldn't i fear the world now? it's plainer to see no one knows what goes through my mind and knowing this is fine no one shouldn't i fear what has been taken from me? shouldn't i fear the world now? it's plainer to see shouldn't i fear what has been taken from me? slowly i'll grow somehow
5.
too soon, too soon it's too soon i try to pick up my slack, did i cover my tracks? guess it was a setback, just what is holding me back? i was so tempted to see, that was not really me forgiveness unlike the deed does not come quite so easy just what is holding me back? i've scratched and i've peeled at scars could not recover from harm i should never do that flesh feels much better intact it's too soon to lose it all once i wished on a star that was me just living in a fantasy i try to pick up my slack, did i cover my tracks? guess it was a setback, just what is holding me back? it's too soon to lose it all
6.
Close to Me (free) 03:39
I've waited hours for this, I've made myself so sick. I wish I'd stayed asleep today, I never thought this day would end. I never thought tonight could ever be This close to me Just try to see in the dark, Just try to make it work, To feel the fear before you're here. I make the shapes come much too close, I pull my eyes out, Hold my breath, And wait until I shake But if I had your faith, Then I could make it safe and clean. If only I was sure, That my head on the door was a dream. I've waited hours for this, I've made myself so sick, I wish I'd stayed asleep today. I never thought this day would end, I never thought tonight could ever be This close to me But if I had your face, I could make it safe and clean. If only I was sure, That my head on the door, Was a dream.
7.
just show who you are, you get further each day just show who you are i think i know who you are, gets sadder each day just show who you are keeping a straight face walking a brisk pace smiling in vain again don't want to see your friends show who you are just show who you are, gets colder each day just show who you are keeping a brave face staying in safe places hiding away again don't want to see your friends
8.
Verily 03:45
9.
just cried the tears have dried themselves won't place the blame on someone else oh well i never seem to know the ways to make these feelings go tore down the lies too tall to tell won't play that game with your good health oh well i never, never seem to know the worlds that help these lives to glow you know what we started from just one night's luck that was enough to set us up you know what we started from just one light touch that set us off let's hide the years can age themselves don't change the same suits us so well oh well one never seems to know the time when time must let us go you know what we started from just one night's luck
10.
i choose to ignore this faster than the wind the truth it sets right in racing from the bone-deep chills they're coming quick passing by a friend who's grin is as wide as a fence i can feel the bone-deep chills that never end yes, i see it i know it i choose to ignore this faster than the wind the truth it blew right in can you feel the bone-deep chills that came too quick? i choose to ignore this as long as i can yes, i see it yes, i know it yet i choose to ignore this i see it, i know it i choose to ignore this hit snooze sleep through this as long as i can
11.
in your deepest peace, when you're fast asleep i'll join you for a walk through the fields your subconscious plea isn't lost on me i'll join you for a walk through the fields i've interrupted your dream guess that's all for now i'll fade into the distance guess that's all for now i'll fade into the distance you offered no resistance in your deepest peace, when you're fast asleep i'll join you for a walk through the fields i've interrupted your dream guess that's all for now you offered no resistance i'll fade into the distance
12.
13.
I victory crouch you I shoot, you shoot, I shoot I shoot, you shoot, I hit I shoot, you shoot, I shoot, you shoot too I shoot, you shoot, I hit, you miss I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I shoot, you shoot, I shoot I hit, you lose, I win! I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I victory crouch you (majestic) I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH YOU I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH I VIC-VICTORY I VIC-VICTORY VICTORY CROUCH
14.
which ornament is your favorite? tell me which one it's just fun to pick out which one which ornament is your favorite? just be singing into this song just be singing into the light just be singing which ornament is your favorite? and celebrate new lights oh happy Christmas it's nice to hear it's our Thanksgiving which ornament is your favorite? it's just not the ones who say "goodbye to you"

about

Numb to the Numbers celebrates 25-years of survival for Shawn Decker, who was diagnosed with HIV at age 11 in 1987. His days were thought to be numbered, but the future is as bright as the neon sign that accompanies Synthetic Division wherever they play.

credits

released July 5, 2012

All songs by Synthetic Division (Shawn Decker, Josh D'Elia and Alan Siegler) except:
"Close to Me" written by Robert Smith/The Cure
"I Victory Crouch You" by Shawn Decker and Micah Consylman
"Which Ornament is Your Favorite?" by Shawn Decker and Evelyn Hoffman
Programming on "Verily", "Plainer to See" and "Close to Me" by Alan Siegler
Album artwork by Josh D'Elia

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Synthetic Division Charlottesville, Virginia

Based out of Charlottesville, Virginia. Synthetic Division creates a soothing style of electronic music that moves your feet as well as your heart.

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